I was just 16 yrs old when my mother died.
As a response to this traumatic event I looked to something that would, as my Dad said “Take my mind off it…”.
I threw myself into a new discipline of lifting weights.
I loved the sound of the metal plates clinking together as I pushed them above my head.
To me, it was the sound of freedom.
Freedom from the unbearable pain no young boy should ever experience.
Little did I know I was clinging to my new ‘drug’ of choice to sooth my broken heart.
Wrapping my hands around that cold metal bar released a torrent of natural opiates which coursed through the chaos of my mind….making it all seem better.
Why are opiates so powerful and what do they do?
Pain relieving opiates function in our internal brain chemistry called the endorphin system.
Endorphins are our naturally occurring opiates and they have three main functions in life so we can:
- Block physical and emotional pain.
- Experience pleasure and reward.
- Facilitate the experience of love, in particular, the attachment. relationship between mother and infant.
Endorphins give us these three qualities for without, life is unliveable.
The opiate addict lives with too much pain and not enough love or reward in their life.
In his exquisite expose In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts, author and GP, Gabor Mate, describes his intersection with the lives of countless drug addicts.
“The first time I took heroin it felt like a warm soft hug” one of his patients casually offers.
If your brain, when young, was deprived of the conditions which promoted the healthy development of the endorphin system – you are a sitting duck for addition, he says.
With opiate addiction – painkillers, heroin, codeine, morphine – people feel ‘normal’ for the first time in their life – rightly or wrongly, it makes them human.
And everyone has the right to feel human.
So how do you break the addition?
We find love, pain relief and reward/connection from other healthier forms.
It’s not about stopping the behaviour, its about new and healthier ways of having those needs met.
And it happens over time with lots of patience, love and support.
Yet our current treatment for addicts is to punish them, lock them up and exclude them.
We think that depriving them of what they really need shocks them bolt upright into abstinence.
This treatment doesn’t work because it doesn’t address the root cause.
So how did I turn out?
I no longer lift weights as if my life depends on it, but that sound of freedom is music to my ears.
David,
Thank you for sharing your personal experience; it is enlightening and thought to provoke.
I agree with you living with a person who is going through addiction is soul, destroying for all involved.
Cheers,
TM
thanks Tony – your comments are always appreciated!
That is an interesting theory. But How do you break a food addiction? Since it is not an opiate but still offers a kind of pleasure . But the aftermath for me is always guilt, remorse and a reinforcement of a pattern of failure of self discipline, not acting on my own body’s cues when I have consumed enough.
I have had addictions before such as cigarettes and cannabis but eventually conquered them. Recently I have experienced several major life stressors and it felt as though it broke my normal healthy eating mojo and I am struggling to get it back, even as some of those stressors are being resolved.I have been in unhealthy eating patterns several times before in my life, and it rectified naturally over time. But right now the more I try to diet the more I break out and binge again and the guilt/remorse cycle begins over.It has helped expressing myself here, as I am feeling ashamed even though the amount of weight I gained is only 4 kilos because I am only 163cm it makes a big impact on my small frame. My partner is not critical of me, though he has commented that I have `certainly stacked it on`. I cant seem to end this cycle atm. Thanks for reading this.
Hi Susie
Many thanks for sharing your very personal story with me. I’m not an expert (or pretend to be!) on addiction or indeed food addiction and I would urge you to perhaps seek professional help for this. Having said that, and in my experience, my addictions have come from a place of trauma i.e. the death of my mother. The destructive habits which I acquired during this young, tender age of 16 helped me cope and ‘self-soothe’ the pain I was feeling at the time. The problem is that if we don’t deal with these issues we bring them into adulthood and unfortunately pass them onto our children. I don’t know your story but I am certain that you have acquired addictions i.e smoking; cannabis, food etc as a coping mechanism for trauma in your life. The ‘trick’ is to recognise the real need these addictions have served you and to replace them with healthier options. Also, be kind to yourself – again, the habit of binge eating has served you a purpose – you just have to recognise what the purpose is and replace it. What I have also learnt is that quite often binge eating is a natural response to your body saying “you are not feeding me the nutrients I need”. As soon as you give your body what it is really craving i.e. protein, fats, vitamins, minerals – the cravings will dissipate. I know it’s crazy but as soon as I switched to a low carbohydrate diet i’e no grains; flour, pasta, rice, high sugar fruits etc my addiction urges were less powerful. I’m sure it will have a very positive effect on you as well. I hope my response has been helpful. Please stay in touch…regards David